You shouldn't drink and drive and you most certainly shouldn't drink and Facebook. These bad judgments are both known to make your life a living hell at some point. Webroot has created a legit software program that stops you before you take it too far. The program engages you with a few tests that police your impairment, then shut down social media applications if you fail. Watch the demo video below.
As far as drunk dialing, you're on your own.